Wednesday, 27 June 2012

FACEBOOK a theory


I've been waiting 16 minutes for a photo to upload on my Facebook iPhone App.

This is not an uncommon occurrence.  Yesterday I posted the SAME photo with the SAME text three SEPARATE times with the SAME outcome.  After a very long buffering / upload time, the pic finally appeared to have been successfully plastered all over my Facebook wall in self indulgent glory..... but it wasn't?!

So I tried.... tried.... tried again.

Anyone who has read any of my other blog posts


or follows me on Twitter


or views my Instagram

(here) @adam_williams_ (yes two underscores)

or has clicked on my website


or is my Facebook friend


or is a fan of my Facebook Official Page


knows I'm quite partial to a picture or 2,489.  So the fact the Iphone App sucks dogs balls, is rather annoying (for me..... and I'm sure every other man and his dog's balls).

It's not just the pic uploads that are tragic about the App.  It's the time it takes to load and open.  It's the frequency for which it freezes.  It's the recurring issue with multiple crashings.  The list goes on.

So while I was waiting that 16 minutes for my pic to upload via my iPhone Facebook App, I thought of a get rich quick scheme.


An App that works with the same efficiency as the Twitter App, the Instagram App and every other App on my bloody iPhone.

Then I saw only a possible short lived honey period for my investment.  Surely if I built an App better than the official FB App, then Mr Zuckerberg would skooter into his office one day and say to his team of the BEST programmers in the WORLD (hot geeks that find joy in staying up all night writing code):

"Hey hot geeks.....  married life is great.  I'm about to steal her dad's idea for a Gellato shop that serves hot dogs.  Anyway, let's stay up all night and write code!  
This over tanned Aussie has made a better FB app then the one we got now, so let's show him who's boss and STEAL his idea and make a better app than our current app too.  That'll shut him down, shut him up and show him who the best thieves are..... I mean best code programmers are!"

They'd end up doing it way quicker and probably better than I could.

So why haven't they done it ALREADY?

Why has the best and the biggest in the business, the team who has delivered a site that has NEVER crashed, THE BIGGEST SITE IN THE WORLD not yet delivered an App that is efficient.  Why is their App so insufficient it shits me enough to avoid it via my iPhone, and only visit FB primarily via my desktop?

Then it dawned on me....... there's no advertising on the iPhone FB App, but there's SHITLOADS of advertising on FB via my desktop!

So low and behold, an inferior product has led me to my desktop where the advertising is.

I herein name Mark Zuckerberg "GEORGE W. BUSH"

I'm sure you can figure out why!

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