Monday, 18 June 2012

Today I drank my own whizzer


The nice peeps reading my blog will know that my terrific time away in the country was bloody eventful.  Not only was it a wonderful weekend outta the rat race with some of my fav peeps, but I stumbled across something I'd been looking for, for a bloody long time.

Remember I found the fountain of youth.  I let you know it was so bloody hard to find cause it wasn't even called the fountain of youth, it was called the Moree Artisian Hot Baths.

But I never got around to telling you exactly HOW this water is scientifically proven to be an Aussie answer to a magic youthful potion.

Let the hose sprinkle free!

I'm not an expert (well maybe I am an expert at every known trick to turn back the clock), but I'm gonna give it my best shot at explaining EXACTLY how this natural wonder works:

If you're a big drinker, you're gonna love this cause the Artisian Hot Baths are practically a multivitamin in liquid form (swallow that pill and party on!).  

It goes a bit like this....

So like it rained in South East Queensland over a million years ago (no exageration, literally a MILLION YEARS AGO) and the water sorta like trickled through these tiny cracks in some porus Artisian rock a whole 1,000m below the earth (this is SO Disney..... but true!).

So this Rock Star named Artisian was a total hottie, like 40 degrees celcius hottie.  

Everyone must have bought his records because he went from being a POORus rockstar to RICH in minerals (maybe they paid iTunes invoice in minerals not money a million years ago?).

So everyone in the Artisian Rock Aussie Underground Indi Underworld wanted a piece of him.  So he scored ALL the time.  They all jumped on him.  He picked up EVERYTHING in his sight.  He picked up this chick called salt, this chic called magnesium and a whole group of chicks which have been scientifically proven to give your body a really good time!  

After not seeing the light of day for literally over a million years, he's been resurfaced and bathing in his glory can have the following effects on your body:

Rejuvinates and re-hydrates the skin

Assists in detoxifying the body's lymphatic system

Replenishes cellular composition

Relaxes muscles and eases joint pains assisting arthritic problems

Assists in management of sciatica and nerve troubles

Relief of symptoms for psoriasis, eczema and other common skin complaints

I'm not a doctor, but those making these claims actually ARE!

It's a bit ooga-booga for me and I'm not sure I've relayed the correct story about this Rockstar named Artisian and the re-surfacing of his waters that are a million years old, so if you wanna know a more accurate account, you should check out:

About 2,000,000 Eastern European tourists each year can't ALL be wrong.  

To make sure these eternally youthful Europeans didn't catch skin cancer on our watch, the kind folk of Moree revamped the Artisian baths from this

to this
1 of the 2,000,000 Eastern European tourists
to this
Hi boys!

And now it looks like bloody Wet Water World with Wonderful benefits.

Me doing my best Kylie impersonation at the Moree Artisian Baths:

Better the Devil You Know
On a night like this!
Showgirl TOUR
Kylie remix MASH UP!

Anyway, I'm back in Sydney from my Moree get away.  Today, on my way to the gym at my local food shop I bought this:

Eternal youth for $2.... BARGAIN!

Just between you and I......

On the off chance I accidentally peed in the Artisian baths (surely our pop princess is now of an age when those piddly little wet water world accidents accidentally dribble out) then is there a possibility I just paid $2 at my local health food shop to drink my own pee?


to drink the pee of 2,000,000 Eastern European tourists?

This is NOT a sponsored post, but IF my pee is the magic ingredient in the scientifically proven fountain of youth, then I AM willing to sell it.

Who wants a drink?



  1. Replies
    1. only brilliance can recognise brilliance. Humbled x

  2. this is gold :) thanks for the laughs... the impersonations of the tourists lounging about lmao. been there, seen it... and yes heard all the stories about the magic water and have seen it work :)

    1. thanks for reading. First time I walked into the baths I SWORE I was in a Seinfeld episode. Couldn't have cast more colourful characters laying by the pools. It actually tastes yum x