I like things such as social media and blogs to happen in real time, otherwise I feel like I'm commenting on yesterday's news. How ironic that yesterday's news is as English as fish and chips but lacked the sparkle or quality of a diamond or a diamond jubilee.
It has taken me this long since watching Kylie's performance at the Queen's Jubilee Royal Arena Spectacular to pick my jaw back up off the floor. As someone who professionally enjoys to sink their teeth into a creative concept or brief, I can't for the life of me figure out what Kylie's creative director was thinking when they sunk what I imagine to be their old false teeth into this performance.
The concert was in celebration of the Queen's 60 year reign and maybe this explain why the stylist chose an outfit Kylie might have actually worn 60 years ago. The buttons as a statement feature literally popped, and genuinely served to remind me of the Pussy Cat Doll's fourth single off their PCD album.... aptly titled Buttons. I think PCD was released in like the 90's or something, this might be the tie in reference for the 90's choreography by the female back up dancers.
Let's give a shout out to those female dancers. With the Daily Mail rumouring the worldwide Jubilee audience could exceed a billion (BILLION not a MILLION, that's 'The Voice' nightly audience times 500) it genuinely takes courage to wear a hat inspired by the feathered head dresses worn by the queens horses (and all the queens men) when pulling the royal carriage. Clearly it was these hats and their equestrian reference that inspired the girls silver harness detailing and must have been the reason behind pulling out ye ole 90's favourite dance step 'the pony'. The pony dance step can often be seen at Eisteddfods in the pre-teen age groups and was a favourite amongst choreographers between 1989-1996.
I personally have never considered dressing my female talent in a baggy silver pair of shorts. Being such a bold and rarely seen before fashion choice, perhaps it was a smart move to somewhat disguise them beneath a knee length skirt. The queen would dig this fashion choice and agree it was 'blooming marvellous' because at 86 years old, all of her skirts are knee length too.
I would have spent a little more time rehearsing Kylie's onstage dramatic costume change. The old favourite 'throw of a jacket offstage' was a massive hit during both Frank Sinatra and the Queen's hey day, but I would have worked a little harder to ensure the camera didn't close up on Kylie's shoulder area and her Spanx Shapewear the newly revealed corset was not designed to cover.
And what a corset it was! The design of this was appreciated by two whole new demographics, neither of which is the Queen's age. Young GAGA fans would have saluted their union jack flags to the bra strap pearl necklace reference and the young at heart Madonna fans would have loved it's salute to Madonna's cone bra (and what an era that was)!
I really would have liked our Kylie to have BYO'd a set or a water fountain...... or ....... a water fountain and a set but maybe she didn't cause the set would have got ruined if it happened to rain at the Queen's jubilee celebration of her 60 year reign.
It's was certainly obvious by the mid section of Kylie's performance that her hit 'Step Back in Time' was ultimately the inspiration for all of these choices.
I'm very glad the Queen arrived in time to see Kylie. I mean she arrived fashionably late. A whole 90 minutes fashionably late missing Jessie J, Grace and Tom Jones (don't know that couple), Cheryl Cole and Cliff Richard's salute to the England's love of canned salmon. But she had planted her box in her royal box just in time to see our Pop Princess.
I hope Kylie didn't notice the Queen was literally wearing yellow ear plugs during her well thought out performance. A little fashion advice for Elizabeth, nude and skin toned shoes lengthen the leg and nude or skin toned ear plugs are less visible by the entire world's media.
DISCLAIMER: a heartfelt apology to Master Craig Dimples